I remember carefully laying everything out on the counter in the kitchen of the condo we stayed in for the week and a half vacation. I had the vial of Lupron, 2 alcohol swabs and the little syringe and needle. I decided just to be safe I should follow along with the online instructional video the clinic had sent me the link to, so I also had my laptop set up and the video ready to play.
When I think back on it now I can put myself right back in that moment: standing alone and barefoot on the cool tile floor of the kitchen, while Ryan got ready in the bedroom. The only sound was that of of the wind making small waves on the lake and blowing the leaves of palm trees outside our open patio door. The sky was overcast and gray. The air in our room felt very much like the air outside: humid and cool, with the thick moisture in the air the temperature really was just right. I think the memory of these few moments is so vivid because of the anticipation of it. I've never been scared of needles, but I was so scared of giving myself a shot! I had known this day was coming and had built it up to be such a big deal in my mind.
I started playing the video and followed along, cleaning the top of the vial with the alcohol swab, drawing air into the needle, stabbing it into the top of the vial and pushing the air into the vial then turning the vial upside down and slowly drawing back until the liquid in the syringe hit the "10" mark. I made only one small mistake: I pulled the needle out of the vial without turning it right side up first and some liquid sprayed out of the top of the vial (no big deal, but at the time I remember hoping I didn't waste enough to make it so I wouldn't have a full dose later).
Next came the hard part. I used a fresh alcohol swab to clean the area a couple inches to the side of my belly button and fanned it dry. Then I pinched the skin and held the needle, ready to go in. The video ended and I just stood there staring at the needle, posed and ready, trying to work up the courage to take the plunge. I stood staring for a good 3 minutes. My thoughts were running back and forth between "I can't do this" and "you can do this". Finally I held my breath and jabbed the needle into the pinched skin of my tummy. I injected the medicine slowly and pulled the needle out, forgetting to release the pinch of skin until a drop of medicine oozed out. I let go and grabbed the alcohol swab to massage the area in hopes that no other liquid made its way out of the pin prick in my stomach.
It was done. It wasn't even that bad! The needle slid in so easily that I barely felt it! It was like slicing butter; at that moment I was grateful for my little layer of belly fat! It didn't even feel like a pin prick-it really felt like nothing. Still, I was so proud of myself! I told Ryan I had done it and then posted about it on Facebook so all my friends could be impressed by how brave I was. I knew tomorrow wouldn't be so hard. In fact, by the end of the trip I would be a pro-I could have everything prepped and the shot done in under a minute.
Next we gathered our things and headed out the door to go to Sea World. The area around where I had given my shot was burning and itching a little, so I pulled my shirt up to look at it as we walked out the door-I had a blotchy red spot around the injection site! I was a little surprised but not too worried (I was a little worried); I knew that a skin reaction was a possibility because this was a new medication. I still kept an eye on it for the first hour or so after we left. It ended up going away. I hoped it wouldn't be like that every time-it kinda hurt! I only had a mild reaction like that for the first few shots though then it literally was like nothing.
We spent the day of that first shot at Sea World. We had been to Sea World in California, but in Florida it is so much bigger! It was like a zoo and an amusement park rolled into one. We saw orcas, dolphins, penguins, sea lions, turtles, birds-all kinds of animals! But we spent the bulk of the day riding rides. Sea World had some of the best roller coasters of the whole trip! As silly as it is, knowing I couldn't ride a roller coaster right now in my pregnant state just makes me miss roller coasters that much more! I am so glad we were able to take that trip-it was the best vacation ever! (Click here for more details and pictures of that vacation...and some others...we've had some good trips).
Back to the shot...Lupron was definitely the easiest, least irritating on all of my injectable IVF medications! If I had known what was still to come (burning, bruising, welts, bleeding) I am not sure if that first shot would have been more or less frightening than it was! But I am so glad I am now feeling baby kicks instead of needle pricks--it makes all the shots, hormones and procedures worth it!
It's funny thinking back on that day now and "feeling" Florida...it makes me miss being there! (That and Ryan has been talking about that trip a lot lately). Because I gave myself my first shot in FLorida I guess you could say that Florida is where IVF began; we will have to go back for an Anniversary Celebration sometime after our baby boy gets here and meets his daddy (I already feel like I know our little guy...after all, we have been hanging our 24/7 for a while now)!
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