If You Want to Meet Our Baby

I don't want to get into a debate about vaccines. I know that nothing I say and no amount of research on my end will sway anyone with a strong opinion against vaccinations any more than their own research and opinion will sway me. I feel it is important for me to discuss this topic because of the recent heated debates about it and because I do feel strongly, but I also do not want those close to me who disagree with me to feel like I am judging them--I am not. What I want to do is share with you where my fears come from and why I feel the way I do, especially now with a new fragile infant coming into our life, and then make a request of my friends and family--both those who are unvaccinated and as well as those who are vaccinated. PLEASE READ THROUGH TO THE END.

First of all let me start by saying I never thought it would be so difficult to bring a life into this world. I always expected that I would be like most mothers and become pregnant easily as soon as I was ready to start a family. But something happened to me that I never expected: no matter what I did or how long I tried I could not get pregnant. That harsh reality brought with it many emotional, physical and financial trials that I never thought I would experience in my life. Because of that unexpected bump (more like small mountain) in the road I now don't take anything too lightly. Bad things happen. Just ask my little sister who is a widow at 29. Sometimes there is nothing you can do to prevent bad things or tough situations. I no longer have the attitude of "that could never happen to me."

That being said, I am very aware of the reality of the risks associated with many vaccine preventable illnesses. If history teaches us one thing it's that there's a reason society felt the need to prevent certain diseases and the harmful side effects and risks associated with those illnesses. Parents who grew up in a time when illnesses like polio and the measles were common, rushed to get their own children vaccinated as soon as vaccines were available because they did not want to risk their children dying from or suffering permanent damage from the side effects of those diseases.

I also understand that just like with anything, there is also some risk associated with vaccines. I don't have a problem with parents choosing not to vaccinate their children--it is their choice and they are free to do what they feel is right for their family. But I do have a problem with it when their choice puts MY family at risk. I feel that parents who choose not to vaccinate have a great responsibility to their community to make sure their children do not spread these highly contagious diseases if they do contract them. That means it becomes more important for parents of unvaccinated children to keep their kids (and in some instances, especially in cases of the measles, themselves) home, and away from others who might not be vaccinated (whether by choice or for a medical reason), any time they are sick. Many deadly illnesses start out just like a common cold and in the beginning stages a parent may not realize that their child actually has a highly contagious illness like the measles or whooping cough.

There are people out there who cannot be vaccinated for legitimate health reasons and depend on herd immunity, an immunity that is compromised by those who simply just choose not to vaccinate. The largest population depending on herd immunity is also that most at risk: infants. Babies under one year are more likely to be hospitalized or DIE as a result of contracting a vaccine preventable illness.

I know there is some risk involved with vaccines, but vaccines do not kill people the way complications from the illnesses they prevent do and have, so for me the benefits associated with vaccines outweigh the risk. If my children are healthy and able to get vaccines they will be vaccinated on schedule.

There is risk in anything. I'm sure my mother never expected the cough syrup prescribed to me by my doctor as a child would cause more harm than good, but I had a severe allergic reaction to the codeine it contained and spent several days with my body covered in hives and my dad sleeping next to me on the floor to make sure I didn't stop breathing in the night. Years earlier I had a similar reaction to penicillin, an antibiotic to which an allergic reaction is more common than are serious complications from vaccinations, but parents don't hesitate to give their children antibiotics when needed.

My choice for my family is to vaccinate and until my son is old enough to be vaccinated I'm going to be a paranoid mama! I feel especially strong about this because of the outbreaks of measles and whooping cough in recent years, both of which have been known to KILL infants. I don't think it's a coincidence that cases of these diseases dropped drastically after vaccines were introduced or that they have started coming back more and more as more people refuse to vaccinate themselves or their children.

I know that even vaccinated people can carry the measles on their clothing or skin or in extremely rare cases even develop a mild case of it themselves, if exposed, and pass it to others. I also know that vaccinated people can in very rare cases contract a mild case of pertussis, which in a vaccinated person feels more like a COMMON COLD, but they can still pass it to a baby who could die from it. So that is why I would like to ask this of all my friends and family:

If you or someone in your household has experienced any of the following symptoms in the last TWO weeks and have not been treated with antibiotics by a doctor or if you are not vaccinated and have been exposed to someone suffering these symptoms in the last THREE weeks (time due to incubation and contagion periods) please stay away:

• Fever (even a low one)
• Cough (even a mild one) 
• Runny nose 
• Sore throat 
• Swollen lymph nodes 
• Diarrhea 
• Red sore eyes 
• Spots in mouth 
• Rash (this seems like an obvious one)

Ultimately, for their own health and the health of our son, I would prefer that all of our friends and family make sure they are up to date on all their vaccines--especially the MMR (which requires a booster if you received your first shot before 1989) and the DTaP or TDaP (for which immunity starts to wane after about 5 years)--before coming to see our new baby, but I know that is somewhat of an unrealistic request. I know other new parents who have just plain not allowed unvaccinated people to come to their homes or be around their children at all until they were old enough to be vaccinated (up to 2 years), but that is not what I want. I want all of our friends and family to have the opportunity to meet our new baby and spend time with him in his first months of life, but not if it puts his health at risk. Just please stay away if you have any of those symptoms, even if they are mild. There will be plenty of time to meet him when you and your families are well.


***Below is a link to a very informative video by NOVA that aired on KUED. It is educational and contains interviews with parents on both sides of the debate, the history of vaccines, the risks of the illness themselves as well as the side effects of vaccines (and even some side effects that were later learned to be genetic illnesses that only presented sooner because of the fevers sometimes caused by vaccines), stories of outbreaks and also stories of those who suffered complications after being vaccinated. I think it is pretty neutral in how it presents the facts and information. I was crying 5 minutes in...the tiny baby with whooping cough at the beginning broke my heart (and scared me--whooping cough is the one that scares me most with infants because it has such a high mortality rate). 

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/body/vaccines-calling-shots.html