Modern Medicine
I have said it before, but I am so glad I live in the time that I do when we have things like IVF available so that women like me can have a better chance at becoming mothers. It is so amazing to think that life can literally start in lab and then be placed inside a woman's body to grow into a human. I am so grateful for science and doctors and their knowledge and inspiration.Baby Kicks
It is such a relief to no longer have to worry so much about how the baby inside me is doing (and honestly, if he is still alive...yes, I have been that paranoid). He is now moving around and kicking like crazy and I am feeling it all--I love every second of it. I wake up eager to feel him move (usually breakfast gets him up and moving) and I lay in bed at night feeling him move around before I fall asleep.I get so excited when he gets kicking hard that I like to sit with my hands on my belly and wait to feel him with my hands, or stare at my belly waiting to see a spot on my tummy twitch when he kicks. I want to experience it every way I can. Last night I even felt like he was playing with me: he would kick, then I would push back in the same spot and he would kick again. We did this back and forth four times before he stopped kicking me back.
The best kick all week though, was on Sunday: Ryan felt our baby boy kick for the first time! Ever since then he's been sitting by me and resting his hand on my belly as often as he can to feel it again, but our stubborn little boy sits still every time! Maybe Ryan has the magical touch to put him to sleep...guess we'll find out in a few months!
ONE Baby
Speaking of our baby, I am very grateful that we are only having ONE at a time! Ashley and Tyson Gardner, a young couple from Utah who also did IVF, just had quadruplets. The story of them finding out they were pregnant with four babies was in the news right around the time of our embryo transfer. Like us, they had transferred two embryos, hoping for one and maybe two babies. Their two embryos both split, resulting in two sets of identical twins (chances of this occurring are about 1 in 70 MILLION).I have been following their story and recently started following their Facebook page (A Miracle Unfolding-Gardner Quadruplets). They have had complications and even a surgery. Just a few days ago their babies were born at 29 weeks (after Ashley spent over a month in the hospital being monitored daily). All four babies (and momma) are doing well, but they only weigh around two pounds each and all have breathing masks and tubes coming out of them as they spend their first weeks of life in the NICU getting strong and healthy. Reading about them has made me so grateful that we ended up pregnant with just one baby. The pregnancy is easier, the risk of complications is lower and chances are I will get to hold a healthy baby right after he is born and take him home with me just a day or two later.
A Baby BOY
I am so glad that our first baby is a boy for three reasons:- I get to give my husband a son and heir to carry on the family name. I know that sounds completely old fashioned, but I feel proud of that. Women in past centuries tried so hard to have sons and we did it on our first try. But don't worry...I still plan on him being a mama's boy (in the good sense: like he'll be sweet and cuddly when he's young and grow into a man who respects and loves his momma!)
- Our other children will get to have a big brother. I was the oldest of three girls and always wished that I had a big brother to look out for me (even if that meant he picked on me sometimes too). Now our children will get what I always wanted and what Ryan's little sister is glad she had.
- Our son is going to have so many other boys to play with! Cousins for our kids has always been a concern of mine. Growing up, all of my cousins were younger (most of them much younger) than me so I never had the experience of playing with a whole bunch kids at family gatherings (it was basically just me and my two sisters most of the time). Since we got off to a bit of a late start, both of my sisters and one of Ryan's are done having kids, another of Ryan's is close to being done and the last one will likely have a few more kids, but she lives halfway across the country (but hopefully not forever). The youngest kids in three of our sisters' families are boys under 3 which means our son will have boy cousins ages 3 year, 20 months and 11 months when he is born. Plus I have two friends who had baby boys in October and November and one friend due to have a boy a month after me, so our son will also have 3 friends within six months of him.
Our New Home
I absolutely LOVE our new house! We are completely settled in and it feels like HOME. It fits us so well (style wise) and has everything we wanted plus room to grow!. We have plenty of room for however many kids we decide to have (I'm thinking two right now, but I'm open. However, my limit is 4). We have space for family gatherings and a wonderful backyard for entertaining (we are already looking forward to summer), which is perfect because we love hosting parties with family and friends. I will let the pictures do the talking... | |
| Our House covered in Christmas Snow! |
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| Some shots of the backyard (taken in October) |
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| Front Entry, Piano Room, Formal Living Room and Dining (Pool Table) |
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| Main Floor Living Room and Kitchen |
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| Basement Great Room and Bedrooms |
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| Master Bathroom and Bedroom, Baby's Room (soon), Upstairs Hall |
Family, Friends and Neighbors
Several times this month I have gotten surprise messages from friends just to ask how I am doing or say they are thinking of me. Most are not even friends I see or talk to much, but it feels so good to know they are thinking of me. Earlier in the month I got to have lunch with two girlfriends from high school. One has a baby who was born just before Halloween. She gave me a couple grocery bags full of infant and maternity clothes, which I am so grateful for. A neighbor also gave me a bunch of maternity clothes (I can't remember exactly how many, but it was something like 25 shirts, 4 dresses and few skirts and pants) so I probably have all I need with the pants my sister bought me and I didn't have to spend a dime on any of them! This is one advantage to having my first after most friends have had their last.We had a really good Christmas this year with each other and with our families. My favorite part of being with our siblings is watching their children interact with them and each other. I love seeing Ryan's sister with her youngest boy and what a sweet cuddly thing he is--I can't wait to experience that with our son.
I also adore my sisters' kids and have been trying especially to remind myself lately how young my sister's 8-year-old still is. She is still at that age where childhood holds a certain magic and the world is good and beautiful. She seems so grown up for her age until she comes up and just wants a hug and suddenly she seems so innocent and small (if you know her, innocent is not typically a word used to describe this strong willed girl, but really she is).
Our youngest niece Bailey is so fun and cute that I wish everyone could experience an afternoon with her. You never know what she is going to do or say, but she is always full of surprises and laughs. She is 2 1/2 so I think part of the fun is that she is at the age where so much is new to her. I am grateful for ALL of the children in our lives and I am so excited to see out little boy go through all these stages of life (but no too fast).
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| My sisters' kids playing in the snow on Christmas Day |
I am so grateful that we moved onto such a fantastic street. We have the best neighbors and I hope none of them ever move! We live on a cul-de-sac with only four other houses and all four neighbors brought us Christmas treats. Two have stopped by on multiple occasions to say hi or let us know about events at church. Three of them came over right after (or even before) we moved in to introduce themselves and welcome us to the neighborhood. I feel so welcome here and for the first time I feel like we are part of a community. Maybe that is the difference between owning a home and renting a home, or maybe this is just how it is living in a cul-de-sac, either way we love it!
Saisha
It might sound silly, but for the last few years, each year she's still with us seems like a blessing. I am comforted by her snoring when she sleeps at night because I know that means she is still breathing. I can't count how many time Ryan and I have watched for the back of her chest to rise and fall when she has been napping silently.My sweet baby girl will be 14 years old in April and she is definitely looking old! She's so white in the face now and spends most of the day sleeping. She still gets little daily surges of energy to play (she loves tennis balls) and she follows us around the house, but she enjoys her naps and bedtime is her favorite. She is so fun to watch in our yard; we have so much space back there and even in the snow she loves to run around the perimeter and check things out.
Around nine every night she starts to whine and doesn't stop until we go up to bed. Her most favorite thing in the world right now is the electric blanket Ryan got for her. She will lay down on any of her beds (she has one in each living room and a chair she sleeps on in the bedroom) and be perfectly content as long as she has her heated blanket!
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| Saisha with her cozy, warm blanket |
My Hardworking Husband
I have a friend who has always wanted to stay home and raise a baby. Three kids later she is still a working mom. I am so grateful and feel so lucky that Ryan is able to do what he does and that he has been successful enough (so far) that I will be able to stay home with our baby when he comes. I love that I have that choice. I still want to work part time, but that is the joy of mediation: I can work as little as I want and mostly make my own schedule (allowing enough flexibility to meet the needs of my clients). Ryan's hard work is the reason I was able to finish school when I did and go back again to get my mediation training. I know how lucky I am and I do not take it for granted that I have the privilege of being able to do the job I want and still be able to stay home and raise our baby.Ryan really does do so much for our growing little family! He started his own small business about two and a half years ago and since then that business has grown from about 7 employees to 30 employees. What started out as a scary venture has become a success because of his dedication, hard work and constant desire to grow and learn. He works 6 days a week and often spends 2-3 hours a night after work making phone calls or catching up on emails once he gets home. At our recent company Christmas party I had several employees go out of their way to tell me what a great boss he was and how much they enjoyed working for him. I could not be more proud!
Even with all the energy he puts in at work he still comes home and helps me keep up the house. I can tell he really takes pride in our new house. It is no longer an unusual thing for him to vacuum, wash the dishes, clear off the counters or make the bed. He keeps our deck swept and clear of snow, the patio table wiped clean, checks the hot tub chemicals almost daily and raked and bagged the leaves in the backyard several times to make sure the lawn was bare before the snow came. He even picked up all the dog poop! With the snow, storms he has cleared the driveway and sidewalks throughout the day (he won't let me help at all, since I am growing our baby) and he has even been taking out the garbage any time it's full so I don't have to go out in the snow and cold. I am so lucky to have such a great man!
I can already imagine our son following him around the house and yard, "helping" and learning from daddy's example. The other night when Ryan went out to shovel snow I was thinking that in just a few short years we will have a toddler eager to help shovel...I will have to take the time to get him all bundled up to go out in the cold and Ryan will have to patiently help him shovel. It will take longer to get the job done, but the father-son bonding time will be worth it.
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| Christmas Eve with the baby present from Ryan's parents |
UPDATE: 23 weeks pregnant tomorrow! We had an appointment with my baby doctor today: everything is good. Glucose is holding steady on the high end of normal. Baby's heart rate is good (even though he kept moving away from the doppler). I am measuring right where I should be size-wise and our little boy is weighing in at about ONE whole pound! I on the other hand have now surpassed the 150 mark, weighing in at 154...I'm not sure how I feel about that. I have gained 12 pounds since our first appointment after getting pregnant (28 lbs. total since we started infertility treatments).
