Always Be Prepared

I've had my hospital bag packed for weeks. I also have a list of the last minute things (like my laptop and makeup) that we (or Ryan) will need to pack before we run out the door. The carseat is sitting at the bottom of the stairs, ready to grab on our way out to the car and I have been making sure my car always has enough gas. I have been ready for weeks now...just in case. I would rather be over-prepared than under-prepared.

Everyone keeps telling me that first babies always go over. Well of course I looked it up and found that only about half of first babies are actually born after 40 weeks (when early inductions are not take into account). As turns out the chances of second babies going over is not much less. The most common gestational age for birth to occur is actually 39 weeks. My mom had all three of her babies early, in fact the one born closest to her 40 week due date was her last baby. I was the first and was 10 days early. Some things that separate me from the typical pregnant mother is that we did IVF and I have gestational diabetes (which I am managing just fine), both of which are risk factors for preterm labor. That is why I keep trying not to make any concrete plans for the month of April.

People might think I'm paranoid, but those who have been following my story from the beginning know the amount of research I've done on IVF and its associated risks. Preterm labor is one of the most common risks. Nobody knows exactly why (maternal age and reason for infertility are both suspected but not confirmed causes), but IVF babies (singletons) are twice as likely as single babies conceived naturally to be born prematurely. For reasons unknown chances of delivering early are even higher when multiple embryos are transferred, even when only one of those embryos sticks around. This is why for the next month (last 4 weeks of my pregnancy) Ryan and I won't be traveling far from home and Ryan will be keeping his phone close. I know I still might go to full term, but it is more likely that our baby will come somewhere between 38 and 39 weeks (maybe sooner, but not likely).

I have been having Braxton Hicks pretty much daily (sometimes only a couple that I notice) for the last couple of weeks, cramping off and on for the last few weeks and I have even been having some contractions. My contractions have never gone on longer than 2 hours and the intensity has stayed about the same even though they have gotten closer together over time-never closer than 8 minutes apart-before they stop, so I've never really panicked (okay maybe a little the first time) or called the doctor about them. I do keep my doctor informed at my appointments and she tells me that all of this is a good sign that my body is getting ready: baby is moving down and cervix is thinning. We'll see just how ready when she checks me for progress at my 36 week appointment!

I'm loving my big perfectly round belly--especially when little baby limbs protrude and distort that perfect roundness. He has been having some very active days, making my belly bounce around sometimes kicking hard enough to move my arm if it's draped across my tummy. My favorite lately has been when he stretches in just the right position for me to feel his little bum pushing out between my now smooth belly button and my rib cage! 

My big round belly...and stretched flat belly button

My tummy is still pretty and smooth (with more peach fuzz than I remember having before). I'm using my Bio-Oil religiously and still crossing my fingers that stretch marks don't make an appearance. I know they are most likely to come in the next four weeks if they're going to and really it's okay. I plan to use the Bio-Oil after birth as well in hopes that it helps my skin bounce back and not look too much like a wrinkled, deflated balloon.

In my weekly pregnant belly pictures I've been paying more attention to whether it looks like I've dropped yet instead of how much bigger my tummy is getting (it's hard to tell). Sometimes I feel like the baby has dropped, but I think it is more just his position and how sprawled out he is. It's weird to think about the shift as things progress: in the beginning I was googling early signs of pregnancy and then looking to see if I was getting a bump from week to week...now I'm googling early signs of labor and waiting to see my giant bump drop from week to week. Soon I'll be watching a baby grow and change from one day to the next! As for all my googling I keep getting the same results as I did in the beginning when it was really just going to come down to knowing I was pregnant when I took a test. Now I guess I'll know what labor is when it happens, but so far I haven't had any sure fire signs that it's coming any time soon.

That's as far as my impatience goes. I want a healthy baby that gets to go home with me so badly that I'm fine with him staying put until his due date. Coincidentally, my due date is one month from today: April 29. I would be thrilled if he came early on his own, but I'm not going to push him. I really hope he's not late though, but not for the reasons one might think. Ryan's sister will be visiting from out of state the week he's due. If he's on time (or early) she'll get to meet him, but if he's even 2 days late she'll miss him and it might be a year before we see her again. I really want her to be able to meet her newest nephew sooner than that!

As ready as I am for this baby to arrive, I'm also not completely ready for him to be on the outside. Inside my belly he's with me all of the time--I never feel like I'm all alone. I always know where he is and I feel every little hiccup and startle. Once he's actually born it might be hard for me to put him down. I'm starting to understand why first time moms have spoiled first babies who always want to be held...there's a possibility I will have a baby like that...and it will be all my fault!

Getting Closer

This last week I hit the 34 week mark...that means I have less than 6 weeks until we get to officially meet our baby boy. Surprisingly, I feel like since around week 28 time has been passing more quickly for me. I still have my slow days, but I can't believe I'm already 34 weeks along!

Wednesday March 18

We now have doctor's appointments every 2 weeks. So far all of our appointments have been about the same: I give a urine sample, have a weigh in and get my blood pressure checked then we go into a room and wait for the doctor. With the doctor we talk about any changes I'm experiencing, what to expect in the next few weeks and any questions we have, then the doctor listens to the baby's heartbeat and measures my belly (I am measuring between 34 and 35 weeks, so right about where I should be). Occasionally I get a vaccine or have a routine lab test.

These appointments are about to get a lot more exciting (and invasive). My 36 week appointment in two weeks will include a Strep-B test (vaginal swab), an ultrasound (yay!) to check to baby's position and the amount of amniotic fluid and the doctor will check to see if I am progressing at all. I know dilation and effacement are not really good predictors of when baby is coming, but it will still be exciting to be able to get progress reports at my weekly doctor's appointments as my body preps!

At my appointment this last Wednesday I told the doctor that I have been having some pretty bad cramping off and on and feeling a lot more pressure than usual. I even had my first Braxton Hicks this last week. My doctor said that all of that is a good sign that my cervix is thinning and baby is moving down and if the the cramping and pressure continues she doubts if I will go past 40 weeks and will probably even go into labor a little early! Sounds very exciting and scary all at the same time! And something else to add to Ryan's building anxiety that he is starting to feel.

She also said that 34 weeks is the point where if I went into labor now they would not try to stop it. At this point in pregnancy if my body goes into labor it is probably for a good reason (like there is some kind of infection or problem) that means the baby needs to come out. She said this early he would probably spend a couple days in the NICU, but that we would be taking a baby home after a short stay. By 37 weeks it would be very likely he would be fine and we would all go home right on time. Of course if I have to be induced early for any reason things would probably play out differently, but he would still probably not be in the NICU for too long, if at all.

Another interesting thing: I have only gained 1.5 lbs in the last month even though the baby has likely gained about 2 pounds all on his own (he should be about 5 pounds and as tall as 20 inches already). I'm at the point in my pregnancy where baby is packing on the pounds, gaining about 1/2 a pound a week. The doctor isn't worried about my lack of weight gain; I am probably losing weight close to the same rate the baby is gaining. Why the sudden weight loss in the third trimester when many women gain the most? It's thanks to my low carb, low sugar gestational diabetes diet.

I have been testing my blood sugar 3-4 times a day for the last month or so now. In the last two weeks I have had more and more of my tests come back high. I've never had more than one test a day come back high, but if I start getting two a day I will have to go on insulin. Needless to say I am now following my diet more strictly.

I have been cooking dinner more often, which usually consists of meat and a vegetable (I do miss mashed potatoes and pasta). For my first lunch I usually eat leftovers from dinner the night before and for my second lunch an Atkins meal bar, a few grapes and a string cheese (yes, I eat two lunches). I can still have my cereal for breakfast (lately it's been Life or Honey Nut Cheerios) as long as I have it with almond milk. I have only been allowing myself one glass of regular milk a day, usually with dinner, and get my calcium from the almond milk in the morning and string cheese or light yogurt for snacks. Oscar Meyer P3 protein packs (ham, cheese and almonds) have been a lifesaver; I often have one of those with some strawberries or raspberries as a snack.

For my sugar cravings I have sugar free candy, sugar free Popsicles and Diet 7-Up (I'm not usually a soda drinker, but since I can't have juice, ice cream, chocolate or cookies I need to get my sweets fix somewhere). I have also discovered Atkins Endulge candy bars: practically zero carbs and high in protein and fiber. They are surprisingly delicious and come in varieties that taste like Snickers (caramel nut), Mounds (coconut), M&Ms (chocolate candies) and Milky Way Caramel (chocolate caramel mousse). The two salty snacks I cannot live without right now: almonds and string cheese. I even take almonds with me in my purse when we go to movies.

What I've been snacking on

What I really want to snack on

This does not mean I am not buying any junk food. Easter is my favorite candy holiday, so of course I am stocking up! I love jelly beans. My favorites are the SweeTart, Starburst (especially the sour ones) and Jolley Rancher jelly beans. I also love Cadbury mini eggs (this year they have a new white chocolate variety that I admit I have tried and love) and Reese's Pieces Eggs. I am and will be buying lots of my favorite candies and saving them for after this baby comes when I can go back to eating sugar! I did open some...I can safely eat 5-6 jelly beans (which is never quite satisfying) so I have been giving myself teeny tiny daily treats! I can't wait until I can eat a White Kit Kat or some Butterfinger Cups (if you haven't tried them you should) and unlimited popcorn during a movie again!

I guess really I should be grateful that my limitations are keeping my weight down during pregnancy. Even though it will be less to lose later I still reason that it isn't fair to be limited and not be able to give into pregnancy cravings (unless I want to give birth to a 10+ pound baby). How I miss ice cream! And being able to have a cheeseburger AND an Oreo shake! I also can't wait to bake cookies again (because half the fun of baking treats is eating them). I'm just glad cheese is safe!

Well, all of this talk of food is making me very hungry...time to go find a boring, healthy snack...

Maternity Photos

A while back I decided that I wanted to have maternity photos taken for two reasons:

1. I always think pregnant women look so pretty in maternity photos
2. This is the last time Ryan and I will have family photos as a twosome

I ended up emailing two different photographers that were referred to me by friends and neither of them got back to me. So I sent out a request for photographer recommendations on a private mommy group I am part of on Facebook and got about 40 different recommendations! It took me a while to sort through them all. I visited their Facebook pages and websites to look at portfolios and check out prices. I narrowed it down to my top three that were in the price range I wanted, had professional websites and had pictures in their portfolios that matched my style.

Then I started shopping for a dress...which took me longer than expected. It's not a very pretty time of year outside and I prefer spring colors. I looked for something in a navy blue or green to go with the dead trees of winter, but ultimately decided to go with a spring color anyway, choosing a pretty coral colored dress. Surprisingly my spring dress and Ryan's coordinating shirt look great against our wintery backdrop we ended up with.

Next I decided I had better email the photographers (probably should've done that sooner). I was to the point where I wanted to have these pictures taken in the next week, so it really would come down to who could get us in when I wanted. Time was running out because I was 32 weeks along and wanted the pictures done while my bump was still cute and before my face started to swell (which I hear happens as you get further into the third trimester).

I emailed Makira Rackham first. She emailed me back within 24 hours. She was so easy to work with! She was always quick to respond to any questions I had, recommended several outdoor places for me to look up and even offered a discount for doing both my maternity photos and newborn photos after the baby is born. Ultimately we decided all we needed for a maternity shoot was a 30 minute mini session, which included 40 edited photos on a CD. With a 90-minute newborn session, which will include about 60 edited photos, our total cost is $225.

We ended up going to Tibble Fork, just a few miles up American Fork Canyon. With her directions we found the spot easily and met up with her right away. She was very friendly and easy to work with. She posed us, and had a very good attention to detail, telling us when to lift a chin, bend a knee or fix my sweater. She took pictures of us in several different places and poses, from different angles. The timing was just when I wanted too...I was just 2 days short of 33 weeks!

In less than a week she had our pictures edited and sent them to me on Dropbox so we could see them right away rather than waiting until the CD arrives in the mail (usually she does one or the other, but I asked her if she could give us the pictures both on Dropbox and a CD). I am so happy with our final edited images! She did a great job and I am happy to say that I now have a photographer I can recommend! Here are a few of our pictures:

I am having a hard time picking my favorite one (or two or three) to frame...if you have a favorite let me know!

Our Empty Room Filled

From the first house Ryan and I rented together we have saved an extra bedroom to make into a nursery when the time came. The longer it took to get pregnant the more empty that room felt, despite the fact that it always ended up filled with random stuff. One thing that never changed was that it was always a room we rarely (if ever) used unless we needed the space for an extra house guest--in which case I had a long day of cleaning and organizing in that empty room full of stuff. The rooms were never really put together or decorated; as a result I didn't take many pictures of those rooms.

Left: bottom-room in our first house in Draper before we filled it with random storage, top-baby room in our apartment in Cottonwood right before we moved out, Right: room of our last house in Riverton (and my niece playing dress-up with my clothes from the closet...this is literally the only picture I could find of this room).

Our "empty" room was like a physical manifestation of the empty space we felt in our life together that we knew would someday be filled with the love for a child. We filled our empty room with random items the way we filled our lives with activities to keep us busy. Don't get me wrong, we had a lot of fun together and had the opportunity to take some amazing vacations together while we waited for our family to grow.

With the purchase of our new house came a new kind of empty room. When we moved in in October I was about 14 weeks pregnant. For the first time we knew that our empty room would not be empty for long. From the day we moved in, the room contained a few boxes of hand-me-down baby clothes, a used crib (that we decided not to use), children's books and baby toys.

After my baby shower last week, I ordered the remaining items on my Amazon registry that qualified for the 15% completion discount--including the crib and dresser that I received an "anonymous" (father-in-law) cash donation for. I spent the week waiting for packages to arrive, opening boxes and assembling baby accessories and furniture! I even washed several loads of tiny baby clothes and blankets (the first of many to come!)

The contents of the first 2 deliveries that arrived this week (and the mess of empty boxes)

Top: Folding tiny clothes, the 2nd (of 3) deliveries on our porch. Bottom: My 6-hour project (and final delivery) Thursday...the crib wasn't so bad to assemble, but the dresser started out as 53 wood pieces, 10 knobs, 88 screws, 50 dows, 24 bolts, 24 barrel nuts and 4 curved washers. Needless to say I am very proud of the finished product!

It's been nearly six months since we moved in and now we have a complete nursery with furniture, wall hangings, lots of baby boy clothes, blankets, diapers and all kinds of baby items. I love what this room has become--I just want to hang out in there! I walk into the baby's room at least once a day and imagine future days and nights spent in there with our baby boy. Now that my glider is up there I have a place to sit so I don't have to stand in the middle of the room feeling lost!

Our completed Nursery!

The picture above the dresser was made by a good friend and is the perfect finishing touch!

Our "baby's room" has even expanded into other areas of the house, like the kitchen and bathroom. I cleared out part of a kitchen drawer for a few feeding items (which I am sure will multiply greatly as he grows), a space on the counter for a bottle drying tray and found a place for the high chair. The hall bathroom upstairs, that we hardly ever use, has baby soap and a little baby bath in the tub as well as a turtle spout cover, and a big drawer full of baby items like washcloths, towels, lotion, q-tips and a cute baby bathrobe I bought close to 10 years ago.

Slowly this kid is taking over our house!

Until the birth of our son started getting so close (only 6 1/2 more weeks until my due date) I never realized just how many empty spaces in our home would be filled. I am sure the space he will fill in our hearts will be even greater.

My Baby Shower!

I looked forward to this day for weeks! I felt like a kid counting down the days until my birthday party. It started to become especially exciting when friends started to RSVP. Finally Saturday arrived and friends started showing up...and before I knew it, it was over. Then I was left trying to think of anything else I have to look forward to in the next seven weeks...otherwise it is going to be a very long stretch waiting for this baby to come! Fortunately I came up with some things:

• A family sleepover with Ryan's sister and her kids
• A possible weekend getaway with some friends
• Lecturing in a class at the University of Utah 
• My best friend's baby shower

Hopefully these little fun events help me fill in the waiting time!

My shower was a total success! Deidre, a friend from high school, planned the whole thing. The decorations were cute, the food was good, the games were fun (not too cheesy and optional, so I think everyone enjoyed them) and the turn out was AMAZING!

When I made my invite list, it ended up being longer than I expected, and in the days that followed I found myself thinking of others I wish I had invited (I am sorry to the friends I missed), but I was afraid to add more because I already had 30 people to invite. I figured like most events only about a third of those would make it, but I was wrong. Including myself there were 20 people crammed into my living room (which is a pretty big room) plus four kids and three babies! I don't think I have ever had a better turn out for any party!

Thank you to everyone who came! (Sara, you somehow dodged all pictures!)

Shower Fun!

We played three games. For the first one, everyone had a little blue clothespin clipped to their shirt and any time anyone said the word "baby" anyone who heard it could call them on it and steal their clothespin. In the end my teenage niece, Abby won with five or six pins lined up on her shirt.

For the second game, Deidre walked around with string and had everyone cut the length they thought would fit around my big pregnant belly. My sister-in-law, Tricia came very close, but my next door neighbor Jaymee took home the prize--she somehow guessed it exactly right!

The last game was a diaper toss. We had to throw wadded up diapers (don't worry...they were clean) down the hall and see how many we could get in a bin in one minute. I actually did pretty good at that game (despite looking like a toddler learning how to throw), but I still did not win. My 8-year-old niece Brinlee won, beating out my mom and sister by one diaper.

The string game and the diaper toss...and my niece looking beautiful watching!

The treats! Veggies and avocado hummus, Brie cheese and crackers, cookies and brownies, and candy!

Next came the presents. I cannot believe how many fun things I got! Between all the gifts and the clothes I have purchased, this kid might not wear the same outfit twice for his first 6 months of life! And he is going to be one stylish little man!

I am so excited to get the nursery set up and put all our gifts away--thanks to Ryan's dad, we ordered the crib and dresser Saturday night, so by next weekend I should be able to get started. I received gifts in the mail all last week from friends and family who were coming and even from some who couldn't make it. I also decided to order a bunch of the stuff left on our registry Saturday night and Sunday morning, so now I get to look forward to packages arriving all this week too. There are still some things left that I need to get, but I promised Ryan I won't spend any more money for a while (like maybe a week).

Opening presents with my helper, Brinlee (who doesn't look too happy...too many people watching I think)

Belly Bumps! Me (32 weeks) with Shayla (28 weeks...and so tiny still) and Melissa (ZERO weeks and holding!)

I was sad for the shower to come to an end, but had such a good time. It was so great to see and visit with so many friends and family--some of whom I had not seen in a very long time! Thank you to all who came and to all of you who were not able to make it, but still sent a gift or a kind message! I felt very loved and supported!

Sisters!

Ryan watched a movie with his dad and Shayla's son in the basement...too many women upstairs

Showers through the years...2005 (Melissa's for Kenzie), 2012 (Kim's for Bailey) and 2015 (mine for Dean)

In case you didn't catch that, we are naming our son Dean after his Great-Grandpa

Bright Spots on Gloomy Days

A few things happened this last week that I do not want to forget, so since this is the closest thing I have to a journal I figured I should write about my experiences here! We are so lucky to have so many special children in our lives. Not having children of our own right away has helped me to have an even stronger relationship with my two sisters' kids and and for that I am grateful.

Even though I was sick this week I still had to pick up my younger sister's kids (ages 10 and 8) from school on Tuesday and babysit my youngest sister's two children (ages 2 1/2 and 9 months) while she was in school on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. This cold I have had all week was at its worst on Tuesday. I spent the day in bed or on the couch, except for the time I spent taking a relaxing bath.

Since I would not have to get out of the car, I picked up my nieces in pink plaid pajama pants and a gray sweatshirt (that was just a little too short to pass as a maternity top). I did not put on any makeup or do anything more than blow dry my hair. If you know me you know I always do my hair and makeup even when I don't plan on leaving the house. I feel better when I am all put together and ready. Except for when I'm sick...like on Tuesday...when I barely had the energy to move. I picked up the kids from school and drove them home. When I was walking them up to their apartment 8-year-old Brinlee told me that I looked pretty. It was so sweet and made me feel so good on a day when I was feeling pretty crappy.

I warned my youngest sister on Sunday night that I was sick, but she could not miss class and did not have anyone else to cover. She is 2 months away from graduating from Utah Valley University. Usually her mother-in-law watches her kids, but she was out of town this week and I had promised to fill in when my sister asked me at the beginning of the semester. I had made a commitment to her so I still babysat even though I was not feeling up to it.

It ended up working out...I survived and had fun playing with the kids like I always do. Dylan, the baby, was actually coming down with a little cold himself so he napped better than usual (as long as I was holding him, which was fine with me because I was tired myself). He's usually a squirmy kid, but this week-especially Friday-he was extra cuddly. I enjoyed every second of it--even if it was just because he wasn't feeling too good. On Friday he actually fell asleep eating in between bites during lunch! Even if he wasn't feeling well, he was still pretty happy and not as fussy as he can be sometimes. It is so fun watching him army crawl around and try to keep up with his sister!

Sweet Dylan being all cuddly

Bailey, his big sister, is a really good kid. She's very outgoing, animated and smart. She constantly impresses me with the things she knows. For example, when I got there on Wednesday she was playing with some flash cards. I started holding them up for her and she knew all the animals and most of the other items including rainbow, unicorn, robot and volcano. Of the ones I flipped through, the only one she missed was astronaut! She even knew all the shapes including the difference between rectangle and square, and circle and oval. She even knew octagon (and just hearing her say that word is adorable!)

Bailey writing me a story about smiley faces

I am getting sidetracked though...something Bailey does that I love is that she always tells you she missed you as part of her greeting. Every single morning when I walked in the door she said, "Hi Aunt Char! I missed you!" and ran to greet me. I always kneel down so she can give me a big hug. Friday morning she made me feel extra special for two more reasons: First, after she pulled away from our hug she told me that my eyes were pretty and that she liked my eyelids. It was sweet because I was wearing a new color of eye shadow and this little toddler was the only one who noticed. Being the cute kid she is she then closed her eyes and asked me if I liked her eye lids too.

The second thing that made my day happened minutes later when Bailey told me I was her best friend. I told her she was mine too--afterall we do have lots of fun playing. She told me I was her best friend several more times throughout the day, including once during nap time/quiet time while we all cuddled on the couch watching Miles From Tomorrowland on Disney Junior. I was holding a sleeping Dylan on my left arm and Bailey was laying on my right with her pillow on my lap: I thought she was sleeping too until she rolled over to face me, hugged my arm and said "Aunt Char, you're my best friend." MELTED MY HEART!

The last fun thing that happened this week: I received my first gift off of my Amazon Baby Registry! On Friday when I got home from babysitting there was a big box waiting for me on the front porch. We brought it in the house, opened it up and inside was a glider and ottoman from my dad. I got it all put together (fortunately it came mostly assembled) and will be enjoying it in my living room until our baby gets a little closer and we get the rest of the nursery furniture. THANK YOU DAD!! It is so exciting to get baby stuff in the mail! Waiting for my shower makes me feel like a child waiting for a birthday party (one more week!)!

Our new Glider!

All of these things (including the kindness of my neighbors I wrote about in my last post) helped cheer me up during a week when I felt pretty down. I have been feeling a little lonely lately. Being sick always does that to me though. For some reason when I am home sick I just want comfort--I get that "I want my mommy" feeling you have when you stay home sick as a child. As an adult, I think I would feel content if Ryan could stay home and cuddle me until I am well. Instead we have to be grown-ups and so I lay around the house alone all day, not feeling social at all, but still feeling isolated. To make it worse Ryan was sick 2 weeks ago and missed work so he was been busy with work stuff and not home a lot this last week.

Besides the pregnancy hormones that make me cry when it rains on my clean car (or any time I don't get my way...I know...childish), I know part of the problem is that I function best when I am in a routine. Being sick, on top of pregnant (and babysitting which wore me out more than usual) I have had zero energy this week and have therefore accomplished nothing. I have not even made our bed this week--not once. My house is a cluttered mess. I have had errands to run, but have not felt up to it. We have been eating whatever we can find because I have not felt like cooking.  

I am sure I will feel better mentally once I feel well physically and can get back to a clean house, cooked meals and my regular routine. I actually felt better yesterday and did run some errands and do a little shopping. In the meantime these little comments from children and one big baby gift helped to brighten my week. 

I am also pretty excited for February to be over...one more month down, only 2 more (maybe slightly less) to go!