The Boy Who Has My Heart

I am so in love with this fun, happy boy of mine! He has me right where he wants me (and he knows it): ready to jump any time he makes a little fuss! I mentioned previously that he will drop his binky and fuss over and over until I pick him up; now he will act all upset and cry to get me to pick him up. As soon as I pick him up he shuts right up, looks up at me with those big, blue eyes and smiles--as if to say "I get you every time!" The little stinker...he's just so damn cute I can't help but smile back and laugh a little to myself because at twelve weeks old (yes it has already been that long), he already knows how to work mommy.

My Little Distraction

The kid seems to have a sixth sense...any time I sit down to eat dinner or get on my computer (hence the lack of blogging in the last month) he gets grumpy and needs/wants to be held. He makes it hard to get anything done! In fact he was perfectly happy in his bouncer until I got on my computer today: he is fussing as I type right now. But he makes the saddest little face and I just can't ignore it! He's doing this new thing now where right before he cries he sticks out his bottom lip and puffs up his cheeks--it's the saddest face you've ever seen, buy it's actually pretty adorable (although we have yet to get a picture of the full face).

He's even cute when he cries!

It's not just the constant interruptions that make things like blogging, eating, working, paying bills, vacuuming, writing thank you cards, returning phone calls, cleaning toilets, or even getting myself ready for the day hard to accomplish, it is also the breastfeeding! I never realized just how time consuming it was. I kept wondering why it seemed like I could never get anything done during the day, then I realized that I spend about 3 hours every day sitting with a baby attached to my boob! That's almost half of a work day spent being a food source. He likes to take his time eating, so each of his six daily meals lasts about 30 minutes.

My Buddy Needs His Schedule

I have also wondered why I am so tired all of the time. Dean is still a wonderful sleeper; he goes to sleep between 8:30 and 9:30 pm and sleeps until about 6:00 am, when he wakes up to eat and get changed into a fresh diaper, then falls back asleep until 9:00 or 10:00 am. I get plenty of sleep so I shouldn't be tired. I've come to realize it's not the quantity, but the quality of sleep. Becoming a mother has turned me into an incredibly light sleeper. Ryan moves and I'm awake. Dean grunts in his sleep and my eyes pop open. In fact for a few weeks I was waking Dean up to feed him without realizing I was waking him up! He would start to stir a little so I assumed he was hungry and waking up. I would sit up, pick him up, change his diaper and nurse him. One night I stuck his binky back in his mouth instead and he was back in a deep sleep in seconds. I did this for two or three nights instead of getting him up to feed him and he stopped eating between 2:00 and 4:00 am and started sleeping through until 6:00.

This baby of mine has really put himself on a schedule. I feed him on demand, so whenever he is hungry. From the beginning he has wanted to eat every two to three hours and that has stayed pretty much the same as he has gotten bigger. At just a few weeks old he started getting grumpy if I kept him up past about 9:00 pm. That's when I realized that this babe of ours needs a bedtime to function better. He even puts himself to sleep...as long as he can see mommy or daddy. He wakes up at the same time every morning, eats around the same times every day and is ready for bed at the same time every night. This is perfect for me: I like a schedule!

Sleeping Dean is almost as cute as smiling Dean!

All Smiles

In the mornings, he wakes up happy and sometimes gassy: I get some of the best smiles from him right when he wakes up, but he goes back and forth between sad faces, grunting and kicking, until a little (or not so little) toot comes out them he's all smiles again for a few minutes, then frustrated and gassy, then happy. I get some really great smiling pictures in the mornings.

No matter how tired I am I always go to bed happy and wake up happy thanks to this little boy of ours. At night I feel like I could just watch him sleep all night. In the morning his constant smiles make me smile. He smiles so much now! Sometimes he gets these big grins on face where it looks like he is so excited he can hardly contain himself! I can't wait to hear him giggle all the time, but right now I just love watching him smile and coo! Some nights he will sit and grin and make little noises at us for five or ten minutes straight--it makes me so happy. He is seriously the cutest kid ever!

Morning Smiles!

He's hard not to love! Not even three months old and he is already so happy, energetic, social and observant. I can lay him on the couch or in his bassinet and he will just look around the room, completely content for the longest stretches of time (if he's in the right mood). It's like he is just taking everything in. He sees us from across the room now and will smile at Ryan or I from short distances rather than just smiling at whoever is holding him. He will sit in his bouncer and just kick and reach for the little hanging birds, sometimes smiling and grunting at them. He is talking more and more: lots of cooing, an occasional squeal and sometime random little yells. The other day he suddenly yelled "Da!" or something like that then proceeded to grin and coo at me for a good two minutes. It is so fun hearing that sweet little voice.

That Smile!

Dean will let just about anybody hold him and will smile at anyone who looks at him. He is a little camera shy and will often stop smiling as soon as I pull out my phone to take a picture, but I have still captured some great smiles. He really does smile so much--sometimes I even catch him smiling at the birds on his bouncer or smiling up at nothing while he lays in his bassinet kicking his feet around and making cooing and grunting noises. He also makes some fun faces and lately has started moving his eyebrows and sticking his tongue out, both of which are so cute!

Already a goofball!

Growing Up Too Fast

He's growing so fast it seems. I already had to pack up all his cute newborn outfits and some of his 0-3 month sized clothes. I am pleased he got to wear each one at least twice, but still sad to box them up after realizing they no longer fit. He is already wearing 3-6 month sized pajamas and doesn't have much room to grow in length in those. I had a really hard time transitioning him to bigger diapers, but clearly it was time; I was changing at least a blow out a day for a while. Now he's in size one diapers and they seem to hold everything in much better, even though they seemed a little big on him at first! (As I was writing this Dean was pooping...what do you know, a blowout!) At first I had to fold the top of the size one diapers down in the front and now they fit perfectly, but are getting smaller on him by the day. He'll be in size twos in no time.

Look how big the newborn diapers used to be (top left compared to bottom right in size 1s)!

My growing boy makes me happy and sad. I already get sad looking back at his newborn pictures and realizing how much he has grown! When we first had him home the newborn diapers looked so big on him and now size ones are looking smaller and smaller on his growing body. The newborn clothes that were once baggy are now too tightl. He used to look so tiny in his carseat and his bouncer but not so much any more. He's growing into and out of so many things! I had to remove the infant inserts from his carseat and his bouncer a few weeks ago and that made me sad. His little feet even hang over the edge of his nest co-sleeper in our bed so we had to move him to the bassinet, which is much bigger. He is starting to fill out and not feel so tiny and fragile in my arms anymore. I love seeing him hit milestones (like smiling and cooing and sleeping through the night), and I get so excited watching him become more aware and learn new things (like pushing his binky back in his mouth all by himself--as long as it doesn't fall far) but it's sad to see him growing so fast.

Getting So Big!

My Stylish Little Man

I am not just spoiling him with attention...I can't even go to Walmart without browsing the baby section and my new favorite stores are The Children's Place, Gymboree and Carters. The boy gets something new almost any time I leave the house! I just really love shopping for him. I never knew how fun little boy clothes could be. I absolutely love dressing him every morning! I get excited to put him in new outfits for the first time. I got so many cute outfits for him at my shower that it's not like he needs any more, but I keep shopping...I just can't help myself!

Some of my favorite outfits (I only bought 3...my friends and family have good taste!)

He is getting quite the little hat collection (including a new cowboy hat) and last week I bought him his first (and second) pair of shoes! I have also decided I love the little rompers. I bought his first one in St. George (plus he has some that were gifts he is growing into now) and I have bought him at least seven more since then. He is just so adorable in them! Plus they are nice and cool for summer. Even with all the attention and clothes, we have decided we are not spoiling him, we just really love him a whole big extra lot!

Since Independence Day was going to be his first big holiday I decided he had to have a patriotic little outfit! He had an adorable little romper and hat for Independence Day, that he wore for a party the day before, and a onesie that says "Mommy's Little Firecracker" that he wore on the holiday. He has another little patriotic onesie he wore this month and a little plaid romper and matching hat he wore on Pioneer Day on the 24th. I was hoping he would see his first fireworks on the 24th of July, but he fell asleep...again. We did fireworks on July 3rd and 4th and little Dean slept right through them both nights (thanks to his noise canceling headphones). Like I said, the kid knows when it's bedtime and bedtime comes before it's dark enough for fireworks!

Patriotic Baby (and matching mommy...yes I'm one of THOSE moms)!

Learning New Things

Dean has been really studying his hands and feet lately; he moves them around, watching intently and even hits himself in the head sometimes when he flings an arm up. He is constantly swinging his arms around, grasping his hands together and kicking his feet up in the air. It's only a matter of time before he starts grabbing his feet--I never thought I would be so excited for such small milestones! It is so much fun to watch babies discover new things and become more focused and aware. 

Just over a week ago our boy discovered something new: his thumb. Apparently it tastes great. In one day I caught him sucking it three times. I try to encourage the binky over the thumb because thumb sucking seems like a much harder habit to break later. Every once in a while though he will spit out the binky in favor of his thumb, or find his thumb in a restless sleep and soothe himself back into dreamland. I have to admit that it is pretty darn cute!

Our little thumb sucker!

That same week he started doing something else new: singing along with music. The first time I noticed it happening was in the car. I had music playing and he was in the back seat oooing away. I thought it was so cute how vocal he was being! As soon as I turned the car off and the music stopped, he stopped too. A couple days later he was sitting in his bouncer kicking and watching his birds. Behind him on the TV a movie had just ended. The end credits started to roll and music came on; little Dean starting making his little oooing noises again and continued non-stop until the music on the TV stopped. The third time was the sweetest: I was singing to him and he was looking up at me grinning and oooing along with me...melted my heart! I just love his sweet little voice. In addition to singing he also grunts himself to sleep when he is particularly sleepy; he moans and grunts, half asleep, as he kicks his legs up in the air. It's like he's voicing his displeasure at not being rocked to sleep by yours truly.

Sleeping Angel

The most exciting thing happened on Wednesday, July 22. Ryan was in bed with Dean propped up on his legs talking to him and getting him to smile and coo. I went downstairs to get a bowl of cereal and let Saisha outside. Suddenly Ryan started yelling at me. I thought he wanted me to bring him something so I yelled up the stairs back at him and he responded with, "He just laughed!" My baby laughed for the first time and I missed it. When I got back upstairs Ryan tried to get him to do it again, but Dean was not cooperating. All day I tried to get my smiling baby to laugh every chance I had, but I got nothing out of him but the regular smiles. That night I gave him a quick sponge bath with a damp washcloth and rubbed him down with lotion. He was smiling and cooing the whole time and suddenly it sounded like he choked on his little smile and he let out a giggle! I finally got to hear my baby laugh and it was the most wonderful sound I have ever heard! Today (Sunday) he laughed the biggest, best laugh yet--daddy is pretty funny to him!

The big smile after the laugh!

Love My Guys

I still love watching Ryan be a father. We are lucky because his job is flexible enough he can usually stay home with Dean if I have something going on. I started mediating again in the beginning of July. I had a mediation in downtown Salt Lake so Ryan spent the afternoon home with Dean. Boy did Ryan get a treat! Dean pooped about an hour after I left forcing Ryan to change his 3rd (I think) diaper ever (don't worry...he's changed more now). Ryan waited a couple of minutes to make sure Dean was done pooping before he opened the diaper. He took it off, cleaned him up then turned to throw out the dirty diaper. I guess Dean wasn't done, because he pooped all over the changing pad. It got all over him and his clothes! Ryan had to change him out of his onesie and take off the changing pad cover (he left the dirty stuff on top of the washer for me--it really was a lot of poo!) Then while trying to put a new shirt on Dean, he got one of his arms stuck in a sleeve for a minute and Dean got all upset. 

Both SO Handsome! I just LOVE this picture!

Ryan admitted to me that he understands why I have a hard time getting stuff done during the day. He said that he had a bunch of stuff he was going to do and was super motivated, then Dean had the diaper fiasco and was fussy; once he took care of him and held him and fed him a bottle, the motivation was gone. I came home to find my two favorite guys cuddling on the chair. Ryan had just gotten a fussy, hungry Dean to sleep and I had to wake him to feed him. I still wonder if the couple I was mediating for noticed my boobs getting bigger throughout the mediation--I was so full of milk by the time I got home that Dean practically choked on it. Even though I was only gone for 5 hours I missed my baby so much that I could hardly stand the long ride home on Trax! The few times we have left him I have missed him so much and been so anxious to get back to him.

Daddy Love

Even though Dean keeps me busy and I might miss out on some things here and there because I have to stay home with him, it is totally worth it. This adorable boy of ours makes me smile all the time. I cannot imagine life without him and am so perfectly content with our little family right now. I have never in my life treasured so many little moments and wished time could slow down more than I do now.

We all love our little Dean (even Saisha)!