A Lot of Hope and A Growing Baby

We got to have another ultrasound today. This one was so much more exciting than the first...our baby-who is actually starting to look like a baby-was moving all over the place wiggling his/her little arms and legs! Our baby is measuring nine weeks and one day (still a day ahead, that little overachiever). We saw the umbilical cord and got to hear the heartbeat again: a strong 165 bpm. And of course we took home another dozen pictures!

Our growing little baby!

The vanishing twin is now just an empty sac measuring 7 weeks. The doctor said this isn't a concern and that my body will continue to just absorb it until it's gone. He doesn't think it ever even developed enough to really consider it viable.

It's a little sad that this was our last appointment with Dr. Moore, but his job is now done. We have worked with him for over a year and he helped us to get pregnant, but now we have to switch to an obstetrician for the remainder of my pregnancy and the delivery. Our first appointment with my OB is next Wednesday. That will be another first for us; I've heard the first appointment can be lengthy, going over medical history and everything, but other than that I'm not sure what to expect.

We are so lucky that we got these extra ultrasounds we've had over the last few weeks. Most pregnant women don't get to see their baby until at least week ten and only get two ultrasounds their entire pregnancy unless something is abnormal or they are high risk. I'm nine weeks today and just had my second ultrasound. I look at the extra ultrasounds as our consolation prize for having to take the long, hard way to get pregnant.

Our baby's heartbeat: 165 bpm

One thing I wish I could've done was surprise Ryan with the positive pregnancy test. I always imagined I would take a pregnancy test at home then surprise my husband with a lunch date and a small wrapped gift with a little baby surprise inside. When you're trying to get pregnant with infertility you're together through it all-and you need to be with all the disappointments and heartbreaks that litter that road.

We also didn't get to come out and announce our pregnancy in a fun, cute way. I think we still could've done that, but it would've been a hard secret to keep until we made the announcement and I'm happy with the way we did things. By sharing our journey every step of the way we received an unbelievable amount of support and I am forever grateful for that and wouldn't trade the experience of being on the receiving end of so much love.

Maybe next time things will happen "normally" for us and I'll get to surprise Ryan and we'll get to announce baby #2 in a fun, creative way. I can always hope for a smooth road next time. If there's anything I've learned, it's that you can't lose hope. I feel like hope was what kept us going through this whole journey. I think if I had ever lost hope, we would've given up and then we wouldn't be where we are today.

Baby's lifeline...the umbilical cord

I've been wondering a lot about couples who choose to live without becoming parents; I wonder if they try until they're so exhausted that they can't hope any longer, or if they still hold onto a little bit of hope even though they're no longer actively trying or expecting to get pregnant. Or maybe it's not a matter of losing hope, but just of accepting reality. (On a side note, I don't like the term "child-free living" because I think most couples have children in their lives whether they're their own or someone else's.)

I'm glad we're finally getting our miracle baby. I know not all couples get their miracle. Really we are lucky we only had to do IVF 3 times...many couples go through treatments for years (and many get pregnant their first try). I'm also glad that we never had to make the decision as to when/if we should stop treatments.  

I've always felt I was meant to be a mother. Adoption has always been an option I considered, but I've always wanted to experience pregnancy and feel a baby growing and moving inside me. I feel like I'm getting everything I want! Even though I often think about what it might be like when we try to get pregnant again, and I do want more than one child, I feel like even if we only have this one I would still be happy with that.

For now I am looking forward to the more enjoyable and exciting parts of pregnancy. I cannot wait to start seeing changes on the outside (bring on the baby bump)! I'm also excited for the exhaustion and nausea to subside (and hopeful that it will). I'm feeling a little better since I started taking Unisom (1/2 a tab each night) and vitamin B (during the day). I didn't realize just how much the Unisom was helping until I forgot to take it Saturday night-I felt horribly sick all day Sunday (thank goodness for ginger tea!) I'm really just hoping everything goes smooth and we don't run into any more roadblocks before we get to hold our very own baby. I'm so grateful for this baby!