It's a...

After dinner and clean up we tallied up the the votes (29-Pink, 28-Blue) and cut our cake open in front of both of our families (minus the few who were not in town and could not make it...thanks to FaceTime some got to watch from other states). 

The secret is out...it's a BOY!

Our recent baby pictures

I haven't felt him move yet, but I am definitely aware of his presence tonight. After being on my feet for a lot of the day then eating a big dinner and pie, I feel especially large and my tummy feels heavy! I know it's only going to get worse...but I'm actually excited about my growing belly!

Thanksgiving Belly!

We are so excited! Now I'm not sure how I'm going to wait 22 more weeks to meet our little guy! But for now I can start shopping for baby!

Here is the video of Ryan and I cutting the cake (I wish we had a picture of the families' reactions!!):

Pink or Blue?

The time is finally here! I am far enough along for us to find out if the dancing baby growing in my belly is a girl or a boy! We actually could have gone in for an ultrasound two weeks ago (I am 18 weeks today), but decided that we wanted to make the announcement to our families on Thanksgiving. Knowing that this would be a hard secret to keep, we decided to wait until as close to Thanksgiving as we could to find out ourselves.

As I do with everything I have Googled all of the ways to tell if your baby is a boy or a girl. There are more ways than I imagined! With all of them I have gotten mixed results, so really who knows what this baby is! I keep thinking girl, but I don't know if that's just what I want interfering with what I feel (really, I think most women want a baby girl and most men want a baby boy). Honestly I have no idea what the ultrasound will show! Here are some of the old wives' tales and what sex they say our baby is:

• Carrying High or Low? High means girl, low means boy. I am not showing enough to tell where I carrying! I also am not sure what constitutes as high or low since I have never experienced this before. (I also have not mixed my pee with Draino or picked up a key...if you don't know about those ones, look them up).
• Baby Girls Steal your Beauty: if you have acne, it's a girl. If you have dry hands and feet, it's a boy. Of these I have only had the acne (hands have been a little dry the last week, but that always happens to me when the weather turns cold), so we must be having a GIRL.
• The Mayan Test: if your age at conception and the year your baby was conceived are both even or odd then it's a girl. If one is even and one is odd, it's a boy. I was 31 when this baby was conceived in 2014, so it must be a BOY.
• Heart Rate: Under 140 beats per minute means it's a boy, over 140 bpm means it's a girl. Our baby's heart rate has always between about 150 and 165, so that means this is a GIRL.
• The Pee Test: bright yellow urine means boy (I also think it means you've been taking your vitamins) and dull yellow urine means girl. My pee is very bright so it should be a BOY.
• Cravings: if you're craving sweets, it's a girl, if you're craving salty snacks, it's a boy. I crave sugar from the time I wake up, usually starting my day with a bowl of Fruit Loops or Honey Nut Cheerios. I am not usually a chocolate girl, but right now I LOVE chocolate. My only cravings so far have been banana cream pie, cinnamon rolls and rice krispy treats. This means GIRL.
• Sleep Position: if you sleep on your left side you are having a boy, right side, girl. I've always been a left side sleeper for the most part and still am in pregnancy so this means I'm having a BOY.
• Morning Sickness: if you feel queasy in the first trimester, it's a girl. If you feel just fine throughout your pregnancy, it's a boy. I felt very queasy in the first trimester (fine now though) so that suggests, GIRL.
• The Chinese Calendar uses your birth date and the date of conception (or due date) to determine if you will be having a boy or a girl. It even boasts 50% accuracy (no kidding, right?) According to this, we are having a BOY. 
• Headaches: if you are having headaches you are having a boy. If you don't have headaches, you are having a girl. No headaches here, so that means GIRL.
• The Ring Test: this can be done by tying your wedding ring to a string and holding it over your pregnant belly. If it goes in circles, it's a boy, if it goes back and forth (side to side), it's a girl. We did not do this. I have done it in the past though (not over a pregnant belly of course). In high school some friends and I used a pencil hanging from a threaded needle and held it over each other's wrists to see what our future held. Over mine it went in circles then stopped, then back and forth, then stopped, then back and forth again before stopping completely. This should mean I am to have a boy and two girls. Years later Ryan and I did this with his sisters using a pendant on a chain and I got the same results. So if this myth holds true, our first baby is a BOY.

If you're keeping count that's 5 for GIRL and 5 for BOY. As you can see, there is really no saying without seeing what appears on the ultrasound. I will post an ultrasound picture (or two) sometime Friday (after we tell our families tomorrow night), so check back for an announcement about whether we will be decorating in Pink or Blue!

Worries and Risks

I'm starting to realize that IVF has not in fact made me more paranoid than most pregnant women, pregnancy does that all on its own. In recent weeks I have talked to friends, read message boards and noticed Facebook status updates about all kinds of worries from pregnant women. Most of them are first time moms, but some have been through pregnancy before and still have concerns. Some of those are:

• If I am emotionally stressed can that hurt my baby?
• Can my baby sense fear?
• Is it normal to not feel pregnant in the second trimester?
• Shouldn't I be able to feel my baby by now?
• I felt a flutter yesterday and today I don't feel anything....is my baby still okay?
• How hot is too hot for a bath?
• Is it okay to exercise?
• Will tight pants hurt my baby?

These don't even include the many comparisons I have seen from moms whose second pregnancies are not progressing the same way their first ones did. For me it has been comforting to see that others share my worries and even worry about things that have never crossed my mind (like jumping jacks causing early labor--months early labor).

This has been a hard month for me because other that my small chubby tummy (that really looks more like I overate than a baby bump) I don't feel pregnant anymore. It's still too early to feel the baby really move and I have not had an ultrasound in five weeks--which is our longest wait in between ultrasounds so far! Our next scheduled one is not until the 20 week mark (I am 17 now), but we have decided to go to one of those fetal photo studios some time in the next week to find out our baby's sex. I cannot wait to see our little one again...just to make sure he or she is still growing and moving around in there!

I admit I have been giving myself more reason to worry by looking up possible complications and common risks associated with IVF pregnancies (I know...Google for me is just as dangerous as WebMD for someone with a headache!) I found out that there were risks involved when I first started researching IVF; the most common risks being preterm labor and low birth weight. I don't care how early our baby comes or how tiny baby is, as long as he or she is healthy, so those are not extremely major concerns for me. In the last few weeks I have learned more about why IVF pregnancies are considered higher risk than naturally conceived pregnancies.

It all started about a week after my first appointment with my OB, when her nurse called to tell me that my urine sample showed elevated glucose levels, but it was contaminated (not a "clean catch") so I needed to come back and take another. Two urine samples later (thanks to my high positioned urethra, which apparently is common, the last urine sample was by catheter--which was a very uncomfortable experience) my glucose levels were still elevated. Elevated glucose is a sign of gestational diabetes so my doctor ordered a glucose blood test. For this I had to go in, drink a super sugary drink then wait an hour for them to draw my blood. This test is commonly done at around 28 weeks, but I took it at 15. Luckily everything came back normal.

I found out along the way that patients who become pregnant through IVF are at an increased risk of developing both gestational diabetes and preeclampsia. I started to wonder why. Then I started to wonder why any of the pregnancy risks were higher for IVF pregnancies. What I found is that the risks have more to do with the infertility factor and reasons couples used IVF in the first place than with the procedure itself.

Gestational Diabetes

This is a risk commonly associated with older moms and pregnancies of multiples (twins, triplets, etc.), so maybe IVF pregnancies are more at risk for GD because they also carry a higher risk of multiples and IVF is common among women over 35 trying to conceive.

Preeclampsia

Again, this is a condition that appears to have more to do with maternal age than with IVF in general. That being said, pregnancy in women over 35 is considered higher risk with or without IVF and older moms are often encouraged to see a doctor specializing in high risk pregnancies, like a maternal fetal medicine doctor.

Preterm Birth (before 37 weeks)

Most know this is common in multiple pregnancies, but even singletons are twice as likely to be born prematurely when IVF is used to become pregnant. Doctors don't know exactly why this is the case, but studies suggest it could be due to the hormones women take before embryo transfer playing a role in how the embryo implants, increased monitoring causing doctors to take a baby early because of the foreseen risk of a possible complication or maternal factors (cause of the infertility, maternal age). Likely it is a combination of several factors.

Premature Labor

Causes of infertility play a huge role in this. Uterine defects such as fibroids and scarring can cause poor intrauterine growth and lead to premature labor. Endometriosis and pelvic adhesions can restrict uterine growth, leading to premature labor. Because these types of conditions make it difficult to get pregnant, women with these conditions are more likely to use IVF, so it makes sense that the risk is higher in IVF pregnancies.

Low Birth Weight

Again nobody seems to know exactly why low birth weight is a risk with IVF pregnancies. Low birth weight is another common risk among multiples and multiples are common with IVF, but even IVF singletons have a slightly higher chance of low birth weight compared to naturally conceived babies. Some studies suggest it could have something to do with the ovarian stimulation that occurs before egg retrieval (but that would only impact fresh transfers) and other studies think it might have something to do with how long the embryo grows in the culture (2-3 days vs. 5-6 days) before it is transferred to the woman's uterus. The common conclusion seems to be that more research is needed.

As you can see I did not really get very many clear answers. All I know for sure is that there is a possibility that our baby might come early because of my past uterine polyps, uterine fibroids, and endometriosis (basically my uterus has had issues inside and out!) So far our baby has been growing and developing just fine, and even a few days ahead. For once, my Google research has put my mind at ease. Now if only Google could tell me if we're having a boy or a girl! I admit I am starting to get a little anxious...

Boobs and Sleep

I had a strange experience yesterday morning: I had just washed my face and was about to straighten my hair when I noticed a wet spot on my nightshirt. Naturally, I figured I must have splashed some water on myself while rinsing my face...until I touched the spot and realized it wasn't wet, it was dry. I had put my pajamas on just before crawling into bed the night before, so I knew I didn't spill anything.

Then it occurred to me: my boob leaked during the night! (TMI?)

I thought I was still too early in pregnancy for this, but I guess not. Hopefully this a sign that I have super boobs capable of producing plenty of food for my baby.

Speaking of boobs, I've accepted the fact that mine might hurt for the next year or more. I thought they were supposed to feel less sore in the second trimester but mine still hurt quite a bit...achy, stinging pain. Attempting to sleep without smashing my sore boobs is just one of several obstacles to my getting a good night's sleep. But at least I'm not still sick! I do still have my days when my tummy feels a little off--for example I did not feel great today--but I've felt worse.

Thankfully, so far nothing in pregnancy has compared to the misery I felt just before egg retrieval (extreme bloat, stomach aches, night sweats, ovary pain, excessive urination). I get the occasional night sweats, but never more than once in a night and episodes are few and far between. And of course I still wake up twice a night to pee.

I do wish I slept better. I understand that sleeping lightly during pregnancy might be my body's way of preparing me for the sleepless nights ahead of me once the baby comes, but does my body really need to prepare for 9 months? I feel like the last trimester when I'll be physically too uncomfortable to sleep well should be preparation enough! On the upside, if I'm too exhausted I can usually plan time for a nap (for now) sometime in the day-even if it's just 20 minutes (which is just enough to make me realize just how tired I am).

Light sleeping could also explain my dreams. I have very vivid dreams--and multiple dreams each night--that I remember when I wake up most mornings. I know that people dream every night, but those dreams are only remembered upon waking when they happen during lighter sleep cycles. I've always thought of dreams as brain workouts: a way to exercise my imagination without effort. I don't think pregnant women have more vivid dreams than not pregnant women; I think pregnant women just remember their dreams in more detail because they are sleeping lighter.

Maybe it's not all just the hormones to blame for making pregnant women emotional either; maybe it's the sleepiness. I might blame pregnancy brain on exhaustion as well. Add the lack of good sleep to the fact that your body is exhausting lots of energy growing a human being and it's a recipe for disaster. I think even most men can agree that they too are moody and not as sharp when they are tired. Try being tired for 9 months. And then years after as these tiny humans wreak havoc on your life...explains mom brain too.

<disclaimer: these are only my opinions and rambling theories...I did no research and have no scientific evidence to back anything in this post>

The Month of October

Good things happen in October.

First, I was born in October, which means my birthday comes in October every year.

To make the month even better, Ryan and I got married in October four years ago.

Lastly, Halloween, which is one of my favorite holidays, is in October and celebrated all month long.

I love dressing up (although this year I didn't have the energy to do much)!

Another plus is that October is when Fall really rolls in. I love summer, but there's something comforting and cozy feeling about fall. It's also beautiful: the mountains start to look colorful when the leaves change and the air feels so crisp. I love fall colors and cool weather clothes (although I hate snow and winter).  

October is also the beginning of what I consider the holiday season: the season of Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. For me this is always an especially magical time of year because I met Ryan right before Thanksgiving. This time of year holds special memories of first dates, getting to know each other and meeting each other's families. 

December 2008

This year more good things happened in October. For one, I am now finished with my first trimester and feeling less nauseous. Our big recent news though, is that we bought a house; a gorgeous house! Which means we moved. In fact, we moved ON our anniversary this year so we didn't do much celebrating. I have had so much going on and between packing and moving and cleaning the old house that I haven't had much down time that is spent doing anything other than napping (which is why I haven't posted anything new in weeks).

I feel like so many new things are happening for us and I love the direction our lives are headed! Next October we will celebrate 5 years of marriage and our first year in our own house, with a 6-month old baby in our arms!

I'm excited that I am starting to show a little baby bump (although if you didn't know I was pregnant you might just think I was packing on some extra pounds to stay warm this winter). I am still somewhat relieved when the doctor says everything looks great and I love hearing our baby's heartbeat! I will be 15 weeks pregnant on Wednesday, which means I'm out of the scary zone where a miscarriage could be a major concern (which is good for my mental health).  The baby is all done developing and for the next few months will just be maturing (and growing some more).

My baby bump at 14 weeks

I have been experiencing a couple of uncomfortable pregnancy and IVF side effects. Just this week I have been getting ligament pain in my tummy. I didn't think it would hurt so much! I have had a little cramping and then sharper pains in my right side (reminiscent of the pain when I had to have my appendix out) that don't go away; last time it last for two days. I felt better in the mornings and then worse after moving around, which was hard because I had lot of moving around to do last week with last minute things to move and cleaning to do at the old house.   

As for the lingering effects of IVF, every night I get sharp, stinging pains in my back where I used to get my nightly progesterone injections. I call them "phantom shot pains" since they usually start firing up around the time I used to get my shot. It seriously feels like bee stings and sometimes catches me off guard...so if I unexpectedly grab my love handles in pain, that's why.

We are counting down the days until we find out if this little one is a boy or a girl...I keep calling the baby a she, but I feel like we have only discussed boy names. I can't wait to find out and start buying cute little outfits and things! We will know the sex by Thanksgiving and plan to tell our families that night!

Baby Madsen at 12 weeks